Broken Dust
by Wevadryn
Summary: Helga has fallen flat into lonliness, with losing her only friend, Pheobe. Arnold sees why Helga feels and acts the way she does when he visits her house one day. (bad launguage, and a bit angsty. Chapter 3 is up! :)
1. Chapter One- Is it Really Sorrow?

Is it really sorrow? Chapter one  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold. This story, However, IS mine, so don't take without permission.  
  
Author's Notes: Helga is 14, same with Arnold and Pheobe, except Harold, Rhonda, and Big Patty are 15.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The music was blaring, and I didn't accually care if I hurt my ears or not. I didn't care about anything. "For the fifteen-millionth time, Helga, turn the music down, I am trying to watch TV here!!!" Big Bob was yelling, and yelling, and did some more yelling downstairs. Amazingly, he had gotten my name right, only because he was angry at me.  
  
I turned the music down, finnally, after getting annoyed at his screaming. I sat up out of bed, where I had been laying, and lazily got up off of it. I went to go look in my vanity mirror, which was a gift from Pheobe for my 13th birthday. I saw my facial features, which I got more disgusted at. The long, blonde hair was now down to my waist. I had gotten rid of the pink bow, as it reminded me of times that I wished not to remember. I accually had two eyebrows now, and gotten rid of the grown-together one. I had plucked it because of the fact that Bob had gotten mad at me and made fun of it. The memory came back to me, when I thought of it.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Memory~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Over the years, I had gotten fed up with Bob just sitting and looking at the TV. I was 12, and very vulnarable to emotional un-stability. I ran into the Living room, and said, "Hey, BOB, why don't you get off your lazy BUTT for a change, and go get some groceries. I'm starving right now!" He got very mad at me, I could see his face turning red, now. He slowly got out of his recliner, while I stood there, tapping my foot, with my hands on my hips. He got straight up in my face, and in a low voice, almost growling, said, "Helga, you listen here, Young Lady. This is MY house, and you are going to respect me! I am tired of your shit, you treating me this way. Why don't YOU go and get your OWN groceries, and see how hard it is! Oh, and by the way, maybe you would get more respect from me and others if you fix your attitude, and get normal eyebrows like normal people!"  
  
I ran into my room, and bursted out crying. I couldn't believe it! He had put down my physical image. I wanted to scream. Just go into a dark room and scream forever. I went to the bathroom later that night, around 1:00 in the morning, and plucked it, making sure it was even and everything, and I went to bed, crying again. The next morning, I went to see if there was anything to eat for breakfast, or lunch...not to my surprise, there wasn't anything, so I didn't bother asking Mirium. I just had my backpack ready, and went out of the door. I got onto the bus, and went into the class room, on time for once. I sat down in my same-old seat. Harold, then 13, stood up, and said, "Heeeeey, Loooook everybodyyyy!! Helga Pataki got rid of that Line that use to be on her horrid face!" I couldn't believe it. I should have known that people might...talk. I sank lower into my chair, and Mr. Simmons said, "Now Harrold, sit down, we are starting a new lesson, I want to get it over with today...On Time."  
  
That was the first time I accually liked Mr. Simmons. The class would have went into a laughing fit if it weren't for the overly-caring teacher they all had. Since the lesson was accually going to be intresting today, everybody quieted down.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Back to Reality~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I went out of the trance I was in, and looked at my face again. Harold's words rang in my ears, 'Helga Pataki got rid of that Line that use to be on her horrid face!'...Horrid, I thought. He was right...it was- Horrid. The slightly pale skin, the long Blonde hair, the slim, slightly curved body, and the bust size which was normal for my age, which was probably the only thing I accually had to take slight pride in. Some of the girls at my school envied the fact that I am 'normal' and they complained they were either too small, or too big. I don't care, it isn't like I take it as a big compliment. I'm not overly obsessed with my 'size' like everyone else.  
  
I sighed, and went back to my bed. I listened to the depressing music that was on...  
  
-"Why did it start out this way? -'Nothing, nothing is right. -'Screaming, screaming out of fright, -'Why can't I get out of this nightmare tonight?!"  
  
"Heh, feels like me." I said to myself, mumbling. My face had its normal frown upon it, and I turned to lay on my side, my back to the radio. It was kind of cold, and late, so I got up out of the bed, groaning because I was getting comfortable to the bed's cushyness. I walked to my closet, opened it, and put on a sky-blue gown that I owned. It was really silky, and it left my shoulders and arms vulnarable to the cold air. I shivered after putting it on, and hugged myself for a second for warmth. I slipped into bed, and pulled the now messed-up covers over my body, and drifted into sleep.  
  
There were, surprisingly, no dreams. All I remember seeing was- darkness. I woke up, yawned loudly, scratched my arm, and went to go get a towel. I took a shower, got dressed, and ate what was left of their dinner from the night before (Spaghetti).  
  
I was already out to the bus when it pulled up. I slumped into the third seat on the left, and stared out of the window. I didn't wear the pink dress I use to. My wardrobe now consisted of leather pants, and tight black shirts that hugged my back and chest. The shoes were also heavy black boots, some Rhonda really envied. I thought Rhonda was just being nice when she proclaimed how nice they looked on me. I just shrugged her off, leaving her behind. I walked into the school, busting the door in, like I did every morning. *You hate everything, you hate everyone, you hate your life, you hate arnold, and you even hate Pheobe!* My little voice screamed out in my head, as I sat down in my seat. We finnally had a different teacher, her name was Mrs. Tinkling. I fought my little voice, as I said in my head, *No, I DON'T hate Arnold, and I DON'T hate pheobe...but I should hate her.* I remember how she had ended our friendship, a few weeks before my 14'th birthday.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Memory~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Pheobe, make sure you do better next time, you know it gets on my nerves when you sit there and don't even get what I want!" I screamed out in rage. Pheobe had looked terribly hurt, and I went on screaming and raving about how many things I didn't like about her, and watched her sorrow grow more on her face.  
  
"I'm Sorry Helga, but I didn't mean to do all those things. And also, HELGA... this friendship is over, I am TIRED of your fucking crap!" She ran out of my room, crying, her face a slight pink because of her anger. I gulped, and my knees buckled, finnally calapsing to the ground in sobs. I had noticed that I had done something I shouldn't have. I had ruined the friendship I had with my only friend.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~Back to Reality~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I gazed out the window, thinking to myself. I assuredly did NOT hate arnold. He was the only one who watched out for my safety. I remember when he had caught me crying in the park one night. I was crying because of my life, and everything in it. Arnold was walking slowly towards me. I was on the bench, and I looked up. He was sad, I could tell. He saw my tear stained face, and ran over to me. He asked if I was alright, and of course, I pushed him off, as usual. He never found out what was wrong, but he held me in his arms for about an hour. He healed me, without saying a word. He just sat there, letting me cry onto him. I remember that he said that he had to go, and I told him I had to also, so we went our seperate ways. I was thinking about suicide, but...he left a sudden hint of hope when he did that to me.  
  
I snapped out of my memory when the bell had rung. It was Lunch time, so I walked through the hall of screaming kids, and finnally reached the lunch room. I remember I had no lunch money, and noticed how hungry I was. I didn't really care, it wasn't like food was 'everything' to me. I looked down to the floor, and then went over to the wall, sitting down. I layed my head onto my knees, and just sat there. I wasn't thinking, I was just listening to all the happy squeels of the girls, and guys laughter. I just wanted to cry- I was utterly...alone.  
  
I felt something stroke my hair, and looked up startled. I thought it might have been someone trying to pull my hair out of hatered, but it wasn't to my surprise. It was...Arnold.  
  
__________________________Arnold's Point of View__________________________  
  
Why did she have to look so...sad? Sitting their all alone, I thought she must have felt lonely. Why did I keep trying to comfort her? It wasn't like I was really friends with her, but I noticed that I DID feel a bit sorry for her. I personally thought her life wasn't that bad, I mean, she was the most feared in the school, so tough and everything. When I looked into her eyes, I searched them. I wanted to pound into her head, see what was torturing her so much. I also wondered why she didn't hang out with pheobe anymore.  
  
"Helga?" I asked, a bit of worry in my voice.  
  
"What do'ya want, Arnol-Arnold?" Helga replied. I could tell that she was about to insult me, but her voice softened when she said my whole name. I expected she might call me 'Arnoldo' or something. I wondered, why had she accually called me by my real name?  
  
I remembered that I had a dollar, and 50 cents in my pocket, and pulled it out. I noticed she had tried to atleast be friendly toward me, why not me toward her? I handed it to her, and walked off, not bothering to say anything else. I didn't want her to throw the money back at me or anything, so that was the only way I could have given it to her.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Helga's point of veiw~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I couldn't believe it. When Arnold walked off, I watched him. I bit my bottom lip, and guiltly looked at the money. Why had he given this to me? I wanted to run back to him and hug him, but I knew that school wasn't the best place to show my affection toward him.  
  
I walked to the lunch line that was still there, and got my lunch. I sat down at a table alone, and I had my Diary in my purse, so I took it out and ripped out a page. I took the dark-purple pen that was in the black leather purse, also, and wrote:  
  
Arnold, I hope you don't mind me coming near you, as I am dusgusted of myself also, but...Thanks. From, Helga.  
  
I folded the small page in half, and got up from my lunch, and walked over to where Arnold was sitting and laughing with Gerold. I took a big breath, wondering if I should even give it to him. 'No, I have to. He deserves my thanks. I mean, he helped me through my problems that one time while I cried, without even saying anything, and now he gives me some money for lunch. It kinda creeps me out, but...he still deserves what I'm fixing to give him. No, wait...he deserves more than that...but oh well, I have to hurry up and give this to him anyway.' I thought to myself.  
  
I made my legs move. I went over to the long, tall table, acting like I was fixing to go to the water fountain. While passing Arnold, I sort of threw the note in front of him, and walked by like I didn't do anything. I hadn't even looked to see where I had thrown it. I looked behind me quickly and to my relief, saw that I had thrown it where I wanted to. I went to the water fountain, then turned around. I slightly grinned with happiness, as I saw arnold frown, then smile. I made my heart flutter, knowing he appriciated it. He closed the note, and his forehead scrunched up. I wanted to know what he was thinking, but I didn't want him to get any ideas that I liked- no, I loved him. I didn't want him to find out.  
  
I walked back to my lunch that was at another table, sat down by myself, and ate it quietly.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Arnold's point of veiw~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Wow. I couldn't believe what she had done. She had thanked me. The thing that bothered me was she thought that I thought she was disgusting. God, she is FAR away from that! She has become the most envied person in the school! Her body figure is perfect, along with her face. She is like...an angel. She still had that snotty attitude, though, so people tended to stay away from her. She was a loner now, without Pheobe, and I wanted to reach out to her. I could see she hurt.  
  
"Hey, Gereld, can you hold on a sec? I am gunna go see what is wrong with Helga."  
  
"Helga? Boy, do ya got somethin wrong with your head? That girl is always in that mood she is in. You know that." Gereld said, sarcastically. What, did he think, I was joking, or something?  
  
"No, Gereld, there IS something wrong. She thanked me for...well, I'll tell you about that after school." I said to Gereld's shocked face.  
  
"Arnold, your a bo- you know what you are."  
  
"Yeh, yeh, I know. I'm bold. I gatcha." I responded, and chuckled. I ran over to Helga, who was sort of picking and eating at her food.  
  
"Hey Helga." I asked, a little nervous. I wondered what she was going to do.  
  
She sighed sepressingly, and said, "Oh, hey football head." I got used to the nickname, atleast...well, only when she said it nicely. When she used her snotty-voice with it, I didn't really like it. I sat down beside her, and lookes at her. She wouldn't ever show me her eyes, it got on my nerves that she wouldn't look at me with them.  
  
"Um, Helga can I ask you something?" I didn't wait for her to respond, but she nodded anyway, right when I started back up to talk, "I was wondering why you, well, thanked me."  
  
"BECAUSE, Arnoldo, I felt like it, OK? Mirium forgot to pack my lunch, as usual, and I had no breakfast. I'm still ok though...I guess." My half- smile had become a frown. She was O-K? Yah, right, she HAD to be lying to me.  
  
"Helga, listen, I know your not ok. Stop trying to deny it."  
  
"It's NONE of your buisness, Arnold, ok? Stop trying to make me feel like everything is alright, it's never going to be, atleast not in my life." She looked away from the eye-to-eye gaze she had kept with me while saying that. I suddenly got an idea.  
  
"Hey, Helga...I'm coming over your house around 6 o'clock tonight, ok?" Oh my God, had I just said that? Yep. Seems like I always speak my thoughts. Dang. Oh well, I had already said it. Might as well just go along with it, and try to find out what is wrong with Helga, anyway.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Helga's Point of View~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Oh my God, had he just said that? My long time crush was coming over? Well, that was a BIG change, atleast in my life. I glared at him with my eyes, but it wasn't a glare of disgust, bitterness, or anger, but of admiration, fear, and loneliness. I hope he hadn't noticed, but his smile had then led me into even more fear of his finding out my little 'secret.' Plus, I didn't want him invading my life. I really didn't want to invade his perfect, confident heart, either. Mine just held sorrow, and he would wretch at the fact of that.  
  
I sighed loudly, and responded, "Yeh, football head, whatever you say." I laid my head down onto my arms, looking away from him. I heard him walk away about two minutes afterward, and I looked up where he had been sitting earlier. What? A note?  
  
I picked it up to read it, and smiled slightly at the words written upon it:  
  
Helga, Remember, 6 o'clock today. Oh and about what you wrote in your note, no, I don't think your disgusting. I'll explain later at your house. From, Arnold.  
  
I started feeling really uncomfortable, and stood up to go to the girls bathroom, while putting the note in my purse. Harold walked through the cafateria door, and I pushed him out of the way. That boy was SO annoying. All he ever did was tease her anyway, maybe if he acted nicer, she would try, also. I went into the large hall, and went to where it had all-capital green letters that said 'GIRLS' on it, and pushed through. Pheobe, to my surprise was in there. She was putting on light-pink lipstick. When she saw who it was who came through the bathroom door, she put a scowl on her face, and ran out of the door. While doing that, she perpously banged the edge of her shoulder against mine. I couldn't stand us not being friends, but I wasn't going to apologize. After all, she was the one who ended the friendship, not me. I noticed my selfishness, but shrugged it off.  
  
I unzipped my purse, and took the note from Arnold out, and read back over it. I saw that he had written that he didn't think I was disgusting. "Wow...I can't believe that." I muttered sarcastically to myself, and continued, "he probably thinks that he might lighten my spirits by saying that. Yeh, right. He probably doesn't even mean it. Oh well." I threw the note in the trash can. It wasn't like it didn't matter to me, it was just that I could remember 6 o'clock, it wasn't like I was stupid.  
  
I heard the bell ring, and went back to class. The bell rang again, after a butt-load of memories I was re-thinking, and I grabbed my back-pack off of the floor, and walked out of the door. I saw Arnold and Gereld talking infront of me, and I pushed inbetween them, interrupting their conversation. I heard bits of their conversation as I walked by. I heard Arnold say, "frightened" and gereld say "Ya, But..." and then Arnold said, "around 6 o'clo-"  
  
There wasn't much information, but I wonder if Arnold was frightened of coming over my house, or had he seen the look of fear on my face before? I hoped it was the first one. I walked out to the bus, and walked up the three, far apart steps, and frowned at the female bus driver. She was a little over-weight, and her red hair stuck out of her head like a duster. I walked past her, and slumped into the same seat I had been in that morning. As I was looking out of the window, in a gaze, I felt something-or someone, rub my left arm with their hand. In quick reaction, I looked at the person, startled...Oh, Arnold. I should have thought.  
  
"What are you doing here, football head?!" I responded, in a low growl. He sighed and looked into my blue eyes givingly and responded, saying, "Well, I am cutting the time short- by three hours. It might make it easier if I just got off the bus with you. We can do homework, and..." he looked down to the floor, then back up into my eyes, "stuff."  
  
My body went almost limp as he said those words. I wasn't ready for him to come over, now! I mean, first of all, I was ashamed of my parents, what might he think of them? I could atleast try and get them civilized before he came over, but nooo, dang football head had to go and cut the time short. Sheesh, couldn't he give her time to prepare?  
  
I looked into his lush green eyes again, and melted into them. It was like- like they said everything he was thinking. It was like I could read his mind. His eyes tell me that he...he is going to do much more than 'do homework' but I wondered...what was he thinking of doing?  
  
__________________________________  
  
Well, that's the end of chapter one, how do you like it? *smiles* I think it might be going too fast, or something but oh well. PLEEEEEASE tell me what you think of this! I am writing a second chapter soon, so if you liked this one and are planning to read the second, it should be up soon. Thankies :) (R+R pweeez! *puppy eyes*) 


	2. Chapter Two- The Visit

The Visit, Chapter Two  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold. This story, However, IS mine, so don't take without permission. :)  
  
Author's Notes: Helga is 14, same with Arnold and Pheobe, except Harold, Rhonda, and Big Patty are 15.  
  
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As I was staring at Arnold, he asks, "Hey, Helga, you ok with all of that? Me coming over earlier?" My eyes blinked realy fast as I lost what I was thinking about how bad he was going to think of me after he visits, and I responded, accidentally weakly, "Uhm, yeh, Arnold, I guess." I slowly turned my head back to the window. We had just dropped off Stinky, and we were on the way to Harold's house. As it stopped by his house, Harrold got his back-pack out of the seat behind him, and started walking to the exit of the bus. Just before he went past me, he took his arm and swung it accross the back of my head.  
  
"You little, I swear Harrold, I am gunna KICK YOUR ASS!" I stood up in my seat, screaming at Harrold about how I was somehow going to get him back, before I felt someone's hand on my shoulder pull me down. "Listen, Arnold, this is between me and Harrold!!!" I growled at him.  
  
"Yea, well, HARROLD just got off the bus...besides, he isn't worth it, you know he is a jerk! He always acts that way, towards everybody." The expression on my face softened, and I responded saying, "Ya...I guess your right." After saying that, I returned to my before stance of staring out of the window toward the houses and away from Arnold. I was ashamed, and ready to be even more ashamed.  
  
"Helga, this is your stop." I heard Arnold say, suddenly, after what seemed like twenty minutes of waiting for that dreadful time. It was only about five minutes, though. I sighed loudly, as I watched Arnold get his back- pack, and go out of the seat so I could also. I took my back-pack out of the seat that was in back of us, and followed Arnold off of the bus.  
  
We both watched the bus drive away, and I turned to Arnold, with a pleading look on my face, and said, "Arnold, please, don't mind my parents. They are a little...un-involved." He looked at me suspiciously, wondering what I meant and proclaimed, "Well, Helga, they couldn't be THAT bad..."  
  
I stared at him and then turned to go to my house, saying, "What, you wanna bet? I've lived with them all my life." He caught up with me the few steps I was in front of him, and said, "Well, whatever, lets just go inside."  
  
"Ya, I was going to do that, football head." I said in my annoying, push- over voice. He didn't let it get to him, obviously. I turned the yellow knob which would open to my so called 'home,' and walked inside. "Mirirummm, I'm Home!" I yelled out. From the kitchin, I could hear her mumble, "Yeh dear, great, uh huh...."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Arnold's Point of View~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Her mom was obviously half awake, and I followed Helga into the kitchen. "Um, Mirirum, this is my friend Arnold. He is over here to help me with, a uhhh...uhm..School project! Ya."  
  
"Ya, ya...great....ya...*starts snoring*"  
  
"Ugh, let's go Arnoldo, nothing can be done HERE." I heard Helga snear. I liked Helga's mom, but I guessed that maybe she had just, well...stayed up all night. Not a big deal. "See, Arnold, She is always like that," Helga said, while going up the stairs. We then heard Big Bob screaming at the TV, which was on a sports channel, and Helga continued, "...and Big BOB is always like THAT, also..." She gave a scowl at her own words, and continued up the steps as I followed.  
  
The walk up was really intresting. Her long blonde hair waving with every step she took, her legs swaying gracefully along with her stride. Her beauty was magnificent. I only wished that she could see that. I know inside, that she isn't as mean as she puts forth, and says. If you think about it, she is all a mystery.  
  
"Well, football head, this is my room." She said, while trying to secretly roll her eyes. I saw it, as I have good peripheral vision, and I said, "Oh, well, com'on, lets go inside."  
  
"Um, well, can't we go to the park, or something?" I heard Helga hesitantly ask. I didn't want to go to the park, it was going to rain anyway, and I didn't want to be stuck out in the rain. What was she hiding from me that she didn't want me to see?  
  
"I don't want to go to the park, plus, there is 70% chance that it will rain today, so I am deffinatly not going out today. We can talk and do homework in your room, it is just as well as being outside." I responded to her question. I saw her roll her eyes, and look away from me and her room. I creaked the door open, and saw the contents in her room. It had a queen sized bed, with an Indigo colored comforter, and some undersheets lay underneath, the same color. Her room was surprisingly clean, compared to most teenagers in the school, and a radio was on, as I could hear little muffle sounds, like the radio was turned down real low. The radio that I could slightly hear was sitting beside her bed on a table, that was obviously used for studying, and such. I went inside, and noticed that there was also a nicely decorated dresser, and a closet with two sliding doors to open it.  
  
"Wow, I like your room Helga." I said. I really did like it, but I noticed that her expressions of her sensitive side must be hidden somewhere here in it. I heard her mumble something like, "Sure, yeh, glad you like it whatever." Under her breath, and then she just pulled me in after standing in the doorway for a few minutes.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Helga's point of view~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
HAH! Arnold liking my room? It was fairly normal, I thought, and boring. There was no TV in there, only a stupid radio. As I pulled Arnold inside, I sat him on the bed. For all I knew, he would probably just stand in my room, because he was too afraid of what I'd do to him. Maybe pound him, but I wouldn't do that. I had only hit him once, and that was on accident when I was younger, with a baseball, while playing the game. He looked surprised when I sat him on the bed, and I could see that he was tense. Was he getting ready for me to hit him?  
  
I giggled, and he looked at me, and asked, "What, what's so f-funny?" I smiled at him and said, "Nothing, football head, you just look so...tense." He gave me a look of suspicioun, and I turned on the radio that I had been listening to the day before. I laid down on my bed, and listened to the gloomy music as it filled my soul once again, and the lonliness came back to me.  
  
"Helga, can we turn the music? I don't like this." Arnold asked me. He had a thing in his voice, like he was trying to keep from crying, but obviously he wasn't because his eyes weren't watering, or anything.  
  
"Why Arnold? There's nothing wrong with it." He looked at me like I was crazy and said, "Helga, yes, I think there is. All this music talks about is suicide, death, rape, murder, and depressing things."  
  
I looked at Arnold, and while doing that thought about what he was saying. He was right, but somehow the music made me feel at ease, and in place with the world. Maybe fitting me in with a catagory? I wasn't sure. "Well, I like this music..." I said, putting a tinge of offendance in with it to make him feel quilty. I could tell he was, but he didn't say sorry or anything, but he didn't turn the music, either.  
  
"Helga, I am going to start on my homework. You with me?" He asked. Strands of his blonde hair had went infront of his eyes, and I couldn't see them. I wanted to see them, so much. His eyes were like the green grass, so full of life and joy. Like supporting young and innocent children while playing.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~Arnold's Point of View~~~~~~~~~  
  
Helga was looking oddly at my face, and I asked, "Helga, is there something wrong? Why do you keep looking at me like that?" She started blinking after I said that, and rudely said, "Nothing is wrong, football head. It's just that...just that..." I could tell that she was trying to find an excuse for her wierd look, and then she looked down to the floor, and continued on, "..it's just that I wanted to see your eyes." I thought it really odd she say that, but I came nearer to her, and lifted her face up to look at me. Then, after she was looking at me, I removed my blonde hair away from my eyes, so she could see them. Her blue eyes lit up, and she smiled weakly at my act, and I smiled back.  
  
She looked so lively then. It was accually the first time I had seen her eyes light up like that. We were so close to each other, it was surprising. The last time I had been this close to her was when I was hugging her that day when- I found her crying.  
  
I slightly got uncomfortable and scooted a little bit away and asked nervously, "Uh...Helga, you know that one day I found you crying?"  
  
"Uh huh, what about it football head?" She asked, a bit distastefully that I had brought it up. Her smile was gone, and she was looking at the ground again. I asked in a curious voice, saying, "Well...why?"  
  
She looks into my eyes, and I saw her blue eyes had went from the dancing, glittery form they were in, to a dim, almost grey stoned color. We were still listening to the, as I thought, 'depressing' music. I still didn't like it. My thought turned away from the music when I saw her eyes start to tear up. She was about to cry, I could tell, and she tried to speak.  
  
"Arnold...that day, Olga...came over. It was the day before my fourteenth birthday, and...Bob had told me that since they had spent time with Olga, they would spend time with me. You know what Olga and they did after they said that?"  
  
I shook my head. I was clueless. What had they done to make her so upset that day? She started talking again, and said, "That night, they had went to this vacation place. They came back three days later, missing my birthday. After Olga had left, and my mom went to sleep, he came up to my room, and dragged me down to the kitchen." She gulped at this part, trying to hold back the tears. I didn't want to hear the last part, but she told anyway, and it would be of no use for me to stop her. She was finnally telling me something personal, atleast. "He sat me down on the table, and started screaming about how worthless I was, and how I wasn't meant to be loved. Then he smacked me, and started putting me down some more with his words. He just kept screaming and screaming and every time I tried to run away from him, he would pull me back. Then he told me that I was a disgrace to him and the whole family, and that I was ugly, and that if I ever died, he wouldn't miss me because I wasn't worth to be...be..missed!" She broke out in tears at the last word, and I came really close to her.  
  
"Helga, it's...it's ok. He is wrong about that stuff. You deserve everything a normal kid SHOULD have." I embraced her in my arms. Now I knew why she always looked so sad, acted so mean, and thought everyone thought she was somehow 'disgusting.' She was like a young puppy who had been beaten by it's owner, untrusting, and only wanting to be loved. I couldn't stand her being like this, but it was the only way she would get her feelings out. I don't know how long I held her, but it was a really touching moment. Her head laid on my chest, as I had grown taller than her in the last 4 years. I stopped hugging her, and held her by her shoulders, and looked straight into her eyes.  
  
"Helga, listen to me. Everything he said was wrong. You are not worthless, and you ARE meant to be loved." She then looked down to the floor, "If you died, you would be missed dearly, and one more other thing- you aren't ugly." She looked back up into my eyes, and asked, "Really?" I answered her, without words, and nodded. It was true, everyone said it. Everyone knew it, also. She was beautiful. I then decided to say something else to her. This was on my behalf, but I needed to tell her. She had quit crying, so I knew it might be safe to say. "Helga, I know now why you treat me the way you do." She looked at me, frowned, and said, "Well, know-it-all, why do I?" I sighed in frustration, and said, "It is because you don't get enough attention from your family, for one, so you get it from others by acting so mean. But...you seem to do that more to me...why?"  
  
"You will find out someday, football head, but now isn't the time. We should start on the homework, anyway." Helga said, in a mean voice. Was she trying to change the subject? I didn't know. I just nodded. We DID need to get finished with our assignments.  
  
We both got out the supplies we needed for it, and finnally finished with it after about an hour. "You done Helga?" I asked, seeing that I had already finished, and she was putting her stuff in her back-pack.  
  
"Yeh, I am." Then then turned around and sighed. The song that was on described things that I wished not to see or hear of, so I turned the music down. All it talked about was cutting and suicide. I took in a deep breath, and said, "Sorry, couldn't stand that song."  
  
"Ya." Was all she said in response. I saw her holding a black leather Journal looking thing that she was fixing to put into her back-pack, and out of curiousity, asked, "What's that?" She looked at the journal looking thing, and sighed.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Helga's point of view~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"You mean this? Um...I..I write in it." I replied, hesitating. I couldn't tell him I write my poetry in there, because then he would want to see it.  
  
"You mean, like a journal?" Arnold asked, his eyes yearning for knowledge.  
  
"Ya...sort of. Well, I...write poetry in it." Uh oh, I had slipped out of my stupid nervousness! "Crimeny!" I said under my breath. He laughed a little bit.  
  
"Well, could you read me one, please?" Arnold Pleaded. I took in a deep breath at the question. Ok, ok, I would calm down, but ONLY because I am in the confided safety of my bedroom, and if he hates it, it is his own damn fault for asking me to read one. "Ok, I guess...I could read you one." I opened the black journal and flipped it a few pages, until I was satisfies with a poem I could read to him. I started, hesitantly at first, but kept going.  
  
"In the whims and woes of the mournful wind,  
  
against the slowly aging trees,  
  
the love of a couple,  
  
sours through every emotion,  
  
budding like the whisps of spring,  
  
only to come to a cold stop in the depths of winter.  
  
Up and around, seasons pass,  
  
making for work and play.  
  
Making and ending, ending again,  
  
going around and around.  
  
Will the cycles ever stop?  
  
Will the longing for love ever end?  
  
'Never' a little voice says to you.  
  
'Never' Oh god, can this be true?  
  
'Never' Then you start to blend,  
  
You dissapear, no one offends."  
  
I looked back up to him to see the expression on his face. He would probably have this disgusted look on it. As I met eyes with him, he was smiling, and said "Beautiful..." I smiled, and blushed at his compliment, and asked, "You really like it?"  
  
"Of course I do," He responded. Then he continued, and said, "and...and so are you." He was still sitting on the bed, and the look he was giving me was creeping me out. He had never gave me that look. It was that dazed look, where his eyes were half opened, and he was smiling at me wierdly.  
  
He was just creeping me out, so I tried to get his attention. "Arnold?" I called out. He was still looking at me funnily. "Arnold?!" He finnally came to attention, and the look was off his face. "Huh?" He asked in confusion.  
  
I sighed loudly, and smiled a little at him, and asked, "Arnold, do you want to go to the park with me?"  
  
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*sigh* sorry to end the chapter there. Sorry it's so short. It doesn't really get anywhere, but it was needed to connect last chapter with the chapter I am writing next. Stay tuned :) I appreciate comments, so feel free to give me any. 


	3. Chapter three- The Park

The Park- Chapter Three  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold. This story, However, IS mine, so don't take without permission. :)  
  
Author's Notes: Helga is 14, same with Arnold and Pheobe, except Harold, Rhonda, and Big Patty are 15. Oh ya, and...dorry for the long waited chapter three! Anyway, here it is, lol. Hope you enjoy it.  
  
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We had both brought umbrella's, just in case. Mine was a black color, and his...no surprise here, was a light blue.  
  
"Helga, can I ask you something?" I pondered this over. I hope he wasn't going to ask me something that might lead me to spilling out my most kept secret about him.  
  
"Um, sure Arnold." I looked down to the cement that we were walking on.  
  
"Are you going to become friends with Pheobe again?" He asked, a hint of nosyness in his voice.  
  
"Are you kidding, Arnoldo? No way! That little bitch just ruined our friendship herself. If anything, it should be HER trying to fix our relationship!" His reaction was one I expected. He frowned.  
  
"Helga, you know that it's both of you that would have to fix the friendship." He said. What was he trying to be, Dr. Bliss? Whatever...  
  
"Arnold, listen, I don't want to talk about it, ok?" I said, trying to get off the subject. I looked back down to the cement. Suddenly, I felt hands on my shoulders. Who's eyes are those? Oh ya. Arnold's. *sigh*  
  
"Why are you doing this to yourself?!" He had rissen his voice. Great, now he was angry at me. I had a confused look on my face at the time.  
  
"Your just standing there, ruining your life, and...and torturing yourself! The music, ruining your friendships, ruining your life!" Ok, this was surprising. Now he was trying to control me. Ugh...he didn't understand the first reasons of my suffering.  
  
The confused strikkn look that had been on my face before was gone. I pulled away from his grip on my shoulder's, and with the same tone of voice he had used, I said, "Arnold, you don't know the first reasons! My family gets on my nerves, everyone tramples over me, thinking I have no feelings, and then...and then there's you!" My eyes were full of anger, and then HE was the one who was confused. Haha...he didn't know the reason why he was part of my suffering. It's kind of funny once you think about it.  
  
He had to take a few seconds looking into my eyes to get over the shock of what I had said, and asked, "Me?" He wasn't angry anymore...only confused. What was I going to say? Oh great...wait...I had to make this sound...right. If it was stupid, he wouldn't believe me. He has grown smarter these past few years, and stronger, so he could easily get the truth out of me.  
  
"Yea, that's right, ARNOLD! You...Why, you ask? Well, it's always been you, Arnoldo...You have been my suffering these past years...ever since I was...three." He was still confused, and still wondered why he would be the one making me suffer. He was still waiting for me to continue, so...I did. "Arnold, you have never understood me fully! You think you do, but guess what? You don't. Now, get OFF my case! ok?!" His eyes were now filled with hurt. I didn't mean to hurt him, and I didn't now I could do that by saying what I had just said. I repeated what I had said over in my head, and noticed why he was hurt. I looked down to the cement, and whispered, "I'm sorry..." I didn't mean for him to hear me, but apparently he did. What did he have, supersonic hearing? I felt his hand bring my chin up to look at his face.  
  
"Listen, Helga. You...shouldn't be sorry. I should. If I have been the cause of your torment, I deserve to be sorry." What was he saying? No, no, don't say that Arnold! It isn't his fault! It was MY fault! Maybe he had took it the wrong way. I remembered what I had said, and noticed a person could easily mix that up. I know what I have to do now...but...Could I do it? Only one way to find out.  
  
"Arnold, NO! It isn't your fault. Don't apologize, please! Even though you have been something that has tormented me, you have also been the only reason I live." Now I could see he was even more confused. He had took his hand down from my chin before I even said that, and he asked, "What?" My eyes were going off in directions, because I was wondering what I should say. Should I say I have loved him? no...that would make him uncomfortable. So, I went with my instincs. I looked into his eyes, and his confused look went off his face.  
  
We both leaned in closer, and as soon as our lips touched, I could feel tiny rain droplets come down. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and his arms went around my waist...were we? We were kissing. Wow...I didn't know I could even do that. We finnally pulled away, both surprised at what had just happened. I suddenly had a pang of guilt and shame rise up in my belly. I turned around, my arms crossed, and I stood there, rain poring down onto me.  
  
"Helga?" I heard Arnold's voice, in the midst and noise of the rain, and the cars passing by a mile away. I turned around, and shifted my weight from leg to leg, nervous of what he might say. I wasn't looking into his eyes, but instead, focused on a long piece of grass on the side of me. "Helga?" I heard Arnold say again. I looked up into his eyes, and coldly asked, "What?"  
  
"Why'd you kiss me?" Now I was in a pothole. What could I say? That I can?  
  
"Cause I CAN Arnold." Oh, nice move, Helga ol' girl. I then narrowed my eyes at him, and then he grinned. Wait, he was grinning? Why the hell would he be grinning?  
  
He then leaned in closer to me, and kissed me softly. After he did that, he pulled away and smiled. "Why the hell did you do that?" I asked, confused.  
  
He lifted both of his eye brows, and said, "Cause...I can." He was still doing his goofy grin. I finnally noticed that it was raining, and opened my black umbrella. After Arnold noticed that I opened mine, he also opened his.  
  
"Come on, Arnoldo. Let's go." I said, nicely. We then followed each other out of the park.  
  
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Sooo....How do you like it? I might write another chapter, but that is only if someone gives atleast one reveiw! Anyway, thanks for reading :) (I know this is short, but *sigh* oh well. I ran out of inspiration. Oh, and if I DO write another chapter, it will mostly revolve Helga trying to explain some things to Arnold, and Trying to fix her relationship with Pheobe. 


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